totally OBSESSED.

Obsession. It started at an early age for me. I would latch on to a particular article of clothing, activity, idea, or person and it became my everything, my precious. There was the year when I was six years old and had a red Ballet leotard that that I insisted on wearing at some point during each and every day (I changed like 10 times a day, mind you). Or the year when I swore I was going to become a fashion designer and drew (terrible) clothing with crayons for hours upon hours. Let's not forget the years when I was certain I would be an award winning journalist and created hard hitting (terrible) family newspapers with my cousin, Steph.

However, the biggest obsessions I always had were with people - but not just any people, super mega famous people. Perhaps it was because I grew up in such a small town and aside from a whole lot of nature, there wasn't much else to do aside from renting movies, watching (too much) television, and listening to the radio. As a young thing, I had nothing but time to obsess about these supa-stars and I would sit and daydream for hours on end. My imagination would run wild and sometimes I would even write stories about how we would meet followed by our entire future together. I was a total whack-a-doo and I laugh so much when I think about it now.

There have been many great infatuations over the years, so I thought I would share a few of the highlights with you. I'm sure you'll either find this embarrassingly relatable (hello, fellow obsessive lunatic) or give you a pretty good laugh at just how insane past Bekah truly was...

Age 6-10: Mark-Paul Gosselaar

Zack Morris, so cool he could stop time.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar with his charming grin and mischievous ways -how could I not adore him? We spent every afternoon together after school with Saved by the Bell. I had convinced my tiny self that he was totally gonna love me when I was old enough to move away and date. MPG, your cheeky ways will always make my little girl heart go boom boom.

Age 11-13: Devon Sawa

Can I keep you?

Sure he was in Little Giants first but when Devon Sawa uttered those words above in Casper, every pre-teen girl let out a gushing sigh. I was hooked on Devon and those soft blue eyes. I distinctly remember watching Now and Then like a bazillion times just because he ran through the woods naked and if you paused your video at just the right moment, you could see "things". It was totally scandalous and sent me and my girlfriends into fits of giggles. Oy!  

Age 13-16 (ahem, 30): Leonardo Dicaprio

Romeo, Romeo, brood your way into my heart, oh Romeo.

Radiohead's "Talk Show Host" started playing and then it happened - Leo appeared smoking that cig and he was looking all smokey and broody with a journal in his lap and the sun beaming behind. That was all it took, I was a Leo lovin' maniac from Romeo + Juliet on. I conveniently worked at a movie store at the time and watched his films over and over and over and OVER again. I would rave about his painfully beautiful face and unwavering talent to anyone who would listen. I went and saw Titanic like 7 times in the cinema and when it came out on video, I went to sleep to it every single night. I had books about him and poured over every BOP and Teen Beat magazine that featured him. While I have quit hanging his posters on my walls and obsessing about his every move over the years, I still love Leo and all of his mega talent. It is a pure love and admiration that will last a lifetime...just like Jack and Rose.

Age 16-19: The Backstreet Boys

Top Left: me laying in all of my BSB swag. Top Right: my teen walls plastered with BSB. Bottom Left: My 16th BSB/Nick Carter themed birthday cake. Bottom Right: one of my Senior pictures WITH my BSB swag. 

Commence the laughter! As if it wasn't bad enough going through those awkward teen years, I decided to really do myself a favor and flaunt THIS. I think it's safe to say that you can understand how intense this BSB obsession was - I mean, I have a PROFESSIONAL PHOTO with my "collectibles", I went to countless concerts, kept every scrap of paper with any of their names on it, talked about Nick CONSTANTLY (my high school friends and teachers can attest to this fact), and here comes the real kicker - I'm in a book about their fans called Fans of the Millennium. I wish I was joking about this but on page 400something, the picture of me laying atop my BSB memorabilia stares hilariously back with a little bio and my favorite quotes from "the boys". Does it get more obsessive and embarrassing than that? 

Age 19-25 (ahem, 30): Johnny Depp

oh, you know, that's just me and JOHNNY DEPP. no big deal.

To be honest, I've loved Johnny for most of my life but the true obsessive behavior didn't begin until around age 19. There was less of plastering my walls with his face since social media had arrived and opened up a whole new world for sharing my love and obsessions. Let's just say that the ability to design my own MySpace background meant that when people went to my profile page, there first impression had to be "this girl is totally cray-cray for Johnny Depp"! I never missed an opening night of a JD film and in the summer of 2005, at the tender age of 21, a dream came true - I met THE man himself! I was living in London for the summer and dragged some friends to camp out for the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory premiere. I'm not sure exactly how long we waited but it was enough time for me to get through about half of the sixth Harry Potter book...so awhile. It was a whirlwind when it happened. I was actually able to get out words without stuttering and managed to be a remotely normal human up until he walked away and my knees went wobbly (the Johnny after effects). In my pathetic defense though, at least I wasn't the crazed lady next to me climbing the railing past his bodyguard to give him an unwanted kiss. Even my obsessive behaviors have limits, y'all.

I'm happy to say that I've calmed my obsessive ways - it only took 28 years and meeting the true love of my life (thanks for saving me from a lifetime of obsessive embarrassment, boo). But don't worry Mark-Paul, Devon, Leo, BSB, and Johnny - you'll always have a special place in my fangirl heart. 

So what are/were your obsessions? I would love to know that I'm not the only maniac. 

Peace, Love, & Infatuations,

Bekah