The most constant of thoughts, involves my beloved Anglo lover and by Anglo lover, I mean London. I miss it with every breath I take. EVERY breath. That city changed me in every way imaginable. It didn’t just steal my heart; it became a part of my soul. There are days when the memories of it completely consume me. Days where I can hear my heart beating to the rhythm of rain splashing the pavement and feel the swoooooosh of an approaching train on my face. No matter what kind of day I was having when I lived in London, I would walk through the streets in awe of the fact that a place could give me butterflies everyday of my life. I could be crying and destitute and still feel completely elated by merely stepping out to discover the city and knowing that I belong there. I could go on and on about the days I spent with my geographical companion, some wildly adventurous, some just ordinarily beautiful, and all equally life changing in their own way.
While I often get frustrated with myself for moving back to the south, I know I came back for a reason...whether I fully understand why at this point or not. Tennessee will always be my home but I can safely say that I know it isn’t where I belong. I left my heart in London, exactly where it’s meant to be. I can’t go on living my life for others or out of guilt. I have to learn that I don’t always have to be everywhere and everything for everyone all the time. I too deserve to be happy even if my version of happy takes me across an ocean and away from so many of my loved ones. I have to remind myself that I can still be the same family/friend even with a tiiiiiiiny little Atlantic Ocean in the way.
Luckily, that masters degree that nearly killed me will pay off in the form of a two-year visa in my dear England. Operation extend visa has now commenced and will involve much planning, serious funding, and paperwork excitement...a labor of love! So if all goes accordingly, the potential plan is to cross back over the pond next June for European backpacking adventures, graduation celebrations, and life back in London. *Fingers crossed*
Until that moment, I shall be soaking up all the family and friend fun I can get! It’s time to discover what this little city has to offer me. So bring on the new places and faces…I’m ready to make the most of this experience!
Peace, Love, & Chicken Grease
Beks
"When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.”
Samuel Johnson
