my religion is love.

“Turn the Gays Away”. Every time I read this phrase in a new article about another state trying to implement this as law, my emotions overflow with anger and sadness. I highly doubt that any of them will actually get pushed through but the fact that they even exist is bad enough. But what truly disgusts me about these proposed laws...they are being created on the basis of religion.

I grew up Christian. My family wasn’t exactly knocking down the church doors every time they were open but I have a solid religious foundation. What I remember most are the messages of love. As a child, I always thought about what a cool guy Jesus must have been and how much I admired his love for ALL people. My favorite song to sing at VBS (Vacation Bible School for those not in the know) was Jesus Loves the Little Children.

Jesus loves the little children,

All the children of the world.

Red and yellow, black and white,

All are precious in His sight,

Jesus loves the little children of the world.

Jesus didn’t discriminate against ANYONE. Not because of race, religion, or sexual orientation. He poured out love. He didn’t turn anyone away. He was peaceful, caring, and generous.

So I need someone to explain to me how a person living a so-called Christian life justifies turning another person away simply because of who they love. We are born who we are and to love who we love. I happen to be born a woman who loves a truly great man but what if I wasn’t? Would that make many any less deserving of the same love and opportunities as anyone else? Or in the case of this law, should it stop me from spending my money at the same establishment as anyone else just because of my sexual orientation? I’m gonna go with a big, fat NO and based on what I know about Jesus and his teachings, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say he would agree with me. If Jesus were a business owner, I think he would welcome me in with open arms. Gay or straight.

Now, I’m not an active church member anymore. Perhaps it’s because I see more messages of judgement and condemnation coming out of them, rather than love these days. In the words of Gandhi (or so the internet says), “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for my religious foundation and the example of love and acceptance that I learned from my family. I’m still very spiritual and have great faith but I can’t identify myself with what the majority of Christian churches in this country (and particularly here in the south) represent these days. Especially when it comes to the gay rights movement. I want to see everyone dear to me be able to experience the same opportunities that I am fortunate to have in my life.

I realize this is a very touchy subject for many people but I don’t want to sit back and be on the wrong side of history. I will now and forever choose Love.


Peace, LOVE, & Equality,

Bekah

hey self, let's get it together.

Y’all, my darling boyfriend recently sent me the greatest article with a wonderful little writing exercise. 

The entire focus of it was to answer questions about yourself in order to help hone in on what you might want to do with your life. He sent it to me after I had a teeny weeny freak out involving my struggles to focus and my fears of being lost in my career goals (which sadly seems to be a fairly regular occurrence). I rambled on and on about things that I enjoyed and dreamed of doing but often felt overwhelmed by the process of where to even begin. I’m aware that I a smart, capable woman with many talents and loads of creative ideas. What I struggle with is how to harness those qualities and turn them into a career that I will enjoy.

When I started the article, what I instantly loved about it was the idea that you should first think about the fundamentals of happiness and purpose before you start worrying about your chosen career. Whether you realize it or not, our society has caused us to feel inadequate if we don’t have a sound response to the default question that everyone asks when they first meet you - “So...what do you do?”

I honestly loathe that question. Mainly because there is so much more to any of us than our current job position (except for you freaks that eat, sleep, and breath your profession -- way to make the rest of us look bad). I’m not ashamed of being a server but do I wake up everyday thrilled to put on a big ole smile and bring (often ungrateful and rude) strangers food and drinks? Hell no. However, I’m good at it, it CAN be fun, and it pays the bills while being ultra flexible. That flexibility...well, it really comes in handy for a girl with extreme wanderlust, an aversion to desk jobs, and a creative spirit just waiting to be tapped.

If I give this answer, people are often quick to judge and write me off as a slacker when they hear that I’m a 30 year old server. [Mind you, I immediately imagine whacking anyone who thinks like that upside the head followed by a swift kick in the ass.] It’s absurd and completely unjustified BUT it happens...and it infuriates me. I’m not just a server but even if I was, who gives a flying whoop?! I like to imagine a world in which I’m introduced to someone and they ask me something like “what makes you happy?” or “what sort of things are you into”? Because I could ramble off a lot of really interesting and exciting answers to that question!

This article not only made me think about our society's fixation on defining ourselves by careers, but through answering the questions honestly, it made me face some not so charming truths about myself too (waaaaaah). The good, the bad, and the ugly. The process of free writing without any second guessing will really tell you a lot about yourself - and then it’s documented for you to face head on.

I discovered that while I might sometimes envy folks with a set and driven career goal, I am not one them...and that’s okay. A one-track mind amazes me. I have spent many years beating myself up for not having a specific chosen career. In true Gummi Bear fashion, I have bounced here, there, and everywhere on the job spectrum. I have always been a “jack of all trades, master of none” type and felt because of this that I was failing in some way. Of course, I now realize that this is absolute nonsense. I should recognize my love for dabbling as a strength, rather than a weakness. I should be thankful that I am well rounded and curious about trying new things -- that I thrive on exploring and testing my limits.

I think the key to succeeding with this sort of personality is all in the follow through (which to be quite honest...I’ve kind of sucked at thus far in life). Having faced this fact, it now leaves room for me to grow and improve. I don’t need to feel ashamed or pressured that I haven’t chosen a specific career path, but I DO need to focus on finishing the projects that I start. Otherwise, all of my creative potential is just being wasted.

I need to throw my fears away. I can’t be scared of failure because if I am trying, I am succeeding (or so “they” say). Dreaming will always inspire and push me forward but only with action will I know my true potential. So if I'm going to write my film script, I need to really buckle down and WRITE it. If I want to start my own business, I need to research my options and make it happen. If I want to win the lottery and travel the world, I need to BUY a damn lottery ticket! Whatever direction my random heart takes me, I have to quit being a whiny little bitch with a ton of excuses and start actually DOING something.

I may be terrified of failing but I’m even more terrified of doing nothing. So this blog is my way of holding myself accountable. You’ve all read it and now I have to take action. Who knows which project will get finished first but I’m vowing to finish SOMETHING.

So stay on me, friends. Ask me about my projects or where my blogs are whenever you get the chance. Give me tough love. I don’t like feeling disappointed in myself, so I need you to shame me into being productive.

I know that might sound strange but whatever works, right?


Peace, Love, & Chicken Grease,

Bekah


OH! If anyone is interested in reading the article that inspired this post, here's the link:

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/01/30/answering-the-question-what-should-i-do-with-my-life/