Inside Out: feeling all of those feels

“All the feels” may have already had its moment in the social media sun but I am bringing it out of the shadowlands today. I can’t think of a more appropriate phrase to capture exactly how I felt after seeing (my new favorite Pixar film) Inside Out. It quite literally gives you ALL THE FEELS.

If you’ve been living under a rock and somehow missed the premise for this glittering gem of a film - it takes you into the wonderful world that is the mind of an 11 year old girl named Riley where you meet the five central emotions that control her brain:

Joy

Voiced by the eternally effervescent and intoxicatingly chirpy Amy Poehler. Let’s be honest, Amy IS joy.

Sadness 

Phyllis Smith was made to voice this character. She is AMAZING at bringing the depression and will now forever be my brain's own personal voice for sadness.

Disgust 

Voiced by my dream celeb bestie, Mindy Kaling, who is the perfect combination of adorable and revulsion all rolled into one. I expected nothing less than a bundle of green sass and it was expertly delivered!

Anger 

Lewis Black brought the huffing, the puffing, and permanently peeved with a temper that can’t be topped.

Fear 

Anxiously voiced by the hilarious Bill Hader, he brought the panic, dread, and jitters alive!

Shoutout to Richard Kind who brought all of the imagination, love, and heartache to Riley’s imaginary friend, Bing Bong. I get teary eyed just thinking about him…

It sounds all kinds of cute and fun, right? Well, it is! But it is also so so SO much more.

This brilliant and beautifully crafted animation brings the mysteries and inner workings of our minds alive in the most colorful, quirky, and ingenious manner. There are no villains or battles of good vs evil. It is hilarious. It is sad. It is wonderfully clever. But the beating heart of this story is very simple - it is about change, growing up, and the way in which our emotions shape us.

As a woman who was once an 11 year old girl, Inside Out struck an especially emotional chord with me. It got me thinking about how we react to emotions as a society...particularly when it comes to women. We are told our entire lives to “be happy”, to basically walk around like permanent balls of bouncing sunshine. My personal favorite example of this (which often comes out of the mouths of strange men on the street and makes fire red flames shoot out of my ears), “Smile girl. I bet you look so much prettier when you smile.” This has always brought out the Anger raging inside of me! What if I don’t feel like smiling, asshole?! Maybe someone in my family is sick. Maybe I just lost my job. Maybe I am having one of my mind whirling anxiety attacks. Or MAYBE I’m just having an especially crap day! Whatever the reason, please let me walk around with whatever face I FEEL like showing to the world.

This film brought me to tears on so many occasions because at the heart of it is this beautiful and healthy message - it is OKAY to feel sad sometimes. We can’t always be riding high on happiness. Life isn’t just about the peaks, but also what you learn and feel while you are trudging along through the troughs. You are shaped by all of your experiences and the emotions that come with each and every one of them - the joy, the sadness, the disgust, the anger, and the fear.

So thank you Pixar, for reminding us that it is okay to have all the feels.

Peace, Love, + Emotions,

Bekah

#100HappyDays

#100HappyDaysCompleted

Cue the celebratory tunes. I did it, folks! I completed every single day of the #100HappyDays Challenge. I know it may not seem like much of an accomplishment to many but that just proves that you’ve never attempted it! Afterall, I am amongst a mere 29% of Happy Completers.

As one of the elite few to make it until the end, here is what I discovered while finding happiness in each day.

Make Time

While I cracked on the people who claimed that they didn’t have enough time to complete this challenge in the beginning, I kinda-sorta-maybe get it now. There were days when I was going full steam ahead with no stops on the track and others where I was just in a right foul mood. At the end of those sort of days, I would get hit with a “Oh Shitsticks!” wave of realization - I haven’t posted my happiness for the day! Obviously, the 71 percenters just gave up and went to bed without giving “this silly challenge” a second thought. I refused to let them be right. I was damned and determined to find some blip of bloody cheer on those nonstop, kick ya in the crotch kinda days and MAKE the time to relish in it -- no matter how silly or small it may have seemed to others. I give thanks to my stubborn streak for soldiering on and finding the time because ultimately, it made me smile when I found that little moment of happiness and would briefly make me forget about all the worries of the day.

Eat, Drink, And Be Merry

Food and bevys REALLY bring me joy. One or both of these things showed up in a whopping 30+ of my posts. I don’t find this surprising but I do find it amusing. Noms, java jolts, and boozing FOREVER!

Relishing Life Changes

In the mix of all of the small moments, I did have several major life events take place over the course of my 100 happy days.

31 going on 13!

My 31st birthday was celebrated! I said goodbye to that fresh faced 30 year old and am now IN my thirties. I somehow feel more adult(ish) having passed through the entryway year. You become more aware of your accomplishments and unfinished goals. I’ve found it to be incredibly enlightening and motivating.

I'm famous!

My very first piece of published writing went global on one of my favorite sites, HelloGiggles! This was a major two thumbs up moment for me and a real boost for the ole writing endeavors. It’s pushed me to set even loftier goals and really stretch my scribing to new heights.

Beebe & Adam: A love story!

My bestie for the restie got engaged to the love of her life in NYC! I was fortunate enough to have a hand in both the planning of it and being there to witness such a truly beautiful and momentous occasion for Beebe and Adam. It was a happy sobbing kind of day in Central Park.

The happiest auntie in the world!

My gorgeous little niece, Felicity came into the world on September 9th. I have never known a love like this before - it has filled my heart to the absolute brim and continues to overflow with love every time I see her precious baby face. Watching my little brother turn into the most doting and loving father makes me BEAM with bliss. Josh and Katie-Beth shine with love and happily sleep deprived new parent faces.

I cherished every one of these BIG moments during this challenge but it also helped me to relish in the small successes and persevere when the crummier moments tried to take over. It taught me to properly honor the GREAT days, to feel EVERYTHING, and always find the GOOD in each and every day.

I highly recommend finding happiness for 100 days straight. I guarantee it will overflow into the days beyond.

Peace, Love, + Good Cheer

Bekah

A Novel Idea

From a young age, I would be willing to bet that many of you were under the impression that to be a great writer or other creative type was a matter of luck - you're either born to be a gifted scribe or you're not. The older (and hopefully) wiser I become, I find this notion to be both false and a bit insulting.

I spent many years fighting the urge to choose writing as a profession because every single thing that I wrote wasn't a divine masterpiece. Seeing English papers that looked like they had been stabbed to death made me feel stifled and defeated. Especially when I chose to flex my creative muscles and write in a nontraditional manner. I couldn't understand why being creative was a bad thing.

I've recently started working with an amazing organization called A Novel Idea (ANI). This summer I am assisting with a novel writing camp that has kids ages 9-16 working on their first (and even second) novels. It's an amazing feeling to see someone so young accomplishing such a major task - a task that most adults are too terrified to ever attempt. Watching these young, fresh creatives powering through word after word is incredibly inspiring - pushing me forward in my own writing.

After camp wraps up, I will be setting out as a Wordy Instructor for ANI's Pen & Paper Club. This marvelous after school (or before school) program is offered to wordy bird kids throughout participating public and private schools in the Nashville area. I will be teaching these kiddos how to write things like haikus, odes, prose, and short stories - all with a dose of passion and no judgement. Writing feeds the soul and this program gives them the tools they need to express themselves through the written word without facing the dreaded red ink staring back at them and potentially stifling their creativity. It inspires them to write from the heart and without fear - because the more they write, the more they WILL become a better in their writing.

Just like an athlete or musician must practice, so must a writer. We aren't all born with "the gift" but we are born with the ability to work hard at something we love. It took me until my late 20s to muster up the courage to finally try my hand at writing as a career - and every day that I meld words together makes me feel more alive. Every writer that I admire has the same important golden nugget of advice - you must practice your craft EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Hard work and diligence - THAT is the key to being a good writer (or anything for that matter). Life doesn't generally just hand you what you want without putting forth the effort. I now try to write every single day in some capacity. Some days it is absolute rubbish - and that's okay. Failure and rejection go hand in hand with any successful journey. That is where you often learn and grow the most.

I wish that A Novel Idea existed when I was a teenager. Maybe it wouldn't have taken me almost 30 years to let go of the fear and put in the hard work to be a writer.

Better late than never.


Peace, Love, + Scribe,


Bekah

banishing "fat"

"I'm so FAT."

People don't realize the impact of those words. Often times they throw variations of that phrase around when they've either eaten too much or are feeling a bit pudgier than usual. It's far too overused and I know I've been guilty of it after devouring an entire package of Oreos (we've all been there). Here's the problem though. By using that word to describe things like poor eating choices or an extra 5lbs gained, we are actually shaming ourselves...and others in the process.

Why do I hate this word so much? Let me break it down for you.

I have struggled with body image and eating disorders throughout my life. It started during those awkward early teenage years when my body went berserk and decided to carve out all of these womanly curves in my body. When you are one of the early bloomers, you often become a target of objectification by teenage boys and the hate/envy of the girls on a slower course. I didn't know what to do with all of that attention and instead of speaking to someone about it (I now know the glories of therapy), I decided to either eat or starve my feelings. 

I want you to imagine this for a moment - you're surrounded by pervy teenage boys ogling you, while the girls are either curve shaming you or hating on their own thinner bodies. It was too many conflicting emotions for this already overly sensitive teen. I could easily take the slurs because I was smart enough to know it was usually coming from a place of jealousy. What really got to me was their own self criticism. All I see are these perfectly toned, beautiful teenage girls calling themselves fat, talking about chubby thighs and their imaginary muffin tops. Naturally, overly hormonal and hyper self-critical teenage Bekah is looking at her own body and thinking "my legs are far more stout...they actually TOUCH - and my stomach is BIGGER than any of those girls. So...are they calling ME fat?" 

In my young self-conscious and distorted eyes, absolutely.

For many years, I went through vicious cycles of binging, purging, crash dieting, and starving my body. Even though I have finally come to accept and love my body in all of its womanly curve glory (on most days), I still cringe when I hear someone who is smaller than me call their self "fat". On an intellectual level, I understand what they probably mean -- they don't feel healthy or comfortable in their own skin. However, the former eating disorder in me does the comparison act. It's a dreadful habit that I hope to one day break, but what I would also like to see is people saying what they really mean instead of using such harsh words so lightly. I fully understand the need to improve yourself, to feel strong and comfortable in your own body. You know what you are capable of and when you might not feel like you are at your best, so say THAT instead of "I'm Fat".

We already live in such a critical world where women in particular are held to such INSANE standards of beauty. So why are we further contributing to it by using these negative words with such ease. You never know who is listening and how it might affect them -- like a young impressionable girl struggling with her own changing body.

Perhaps we should all take the time to be more aware of others, be kinder to ourselves, and for the love of all that is good and holy - stop using that hideous word!

Peace, Love, + Fat Out,

Bekah

happy days are yours and mine

#100HappyDays

I have been seeing this hashtag float about on various social media outlets and finally decided to look into it yesterday - and I am so HAPPY that I did.

Essentially, it's a movement to challenge us to stop and smell the roses - to take time from our busy schedules and really think about the little moments of beauty in our daily lives. It's so easy to get swept up in the mundane, becoming zombie-like and immune to the little pleasures. This challenge forces you to embrace each day and find the happiness in it for 100 days straight. Sounds easy enough, right?

Wrong.

According to the website, 71% of people who attempted this challenge failed due to "lack of time".

Really? We don't "have the time" to recognize at lease one moment of happiness in each day? That is just sad - and proof that the majority of us can't take our head out of our asses long enough to realize just how lucky we actually have it. Anyone who knows me would say that I'm generally a pretty happy person - but like most, I often get caught up in moaning on about things like how I don't want to go to work or how I should probably lose a few pounds before my next big adventure. In the grand scheme of things, those are some pretty awesome problems. It means that I have a JOB that PAYS me, I have access to delicious FOOD, and I get to take amazing VACATIONS. It's a rough life for me, innit?

So this little blog is my vow to get my head out of my ass for 100 days straight and see the delight in both the big and the small moments.

May it teach to me to be more observant, optimistic, thankful, and HAPPY.


You can follow my daily dose of joy on Instagram - @southerndreamer and I inspire you to join me, friend. Let's get merry!

Peace, Love, and Good Cheer,


Bekah

F-R-I-E-N-D-S

In honor of National Best Friend Day, it seemed like a good time to get chummy with y'all.

You always hear people saying that in your life, you can probably count your true friends on just one hand. I've always found that idea to be really interesting and quite honestly, under par throughout my life. No matter where I've traveled or lived, I have made some truly deep and lasting friendships. I may not talk to them everyday, but I can safely say that I could call on any number of people at any given time and they would be there for me in a flash. My mom always told me how fortunate I am to draw such quality people into my life and as I've gotten older, I now realize just how rare this is for most people.

Friendships come in all forms but what I find most interesting about those I've made in my life is that most of them happened in the most divine or unconventional of ways.

Fate brought me and my absolute best together after we had both come out of disastrously bad relationships (the thank God we dodged that bullet kind) and moved into the same shared apartment. That was ten years ago now and what a wild ride it's been! It's pretty incredible to know a person that truly understands and supports you, will tell you when you're being a complete twit, and can laugh with (or at) you so hard that you both end up breathless and peeing your pants. Soulmate besties!

I've also always been great at long distance and online friendships.

It started as a child. I had a knack for making fast friends in the hotel pool on vacations and loved writing letters back and forth when we would return home. I was a regular little pen pal-er from an early age! I have found that you really get to know people through the written word because there is comfort and openness to it. This transformed as the internet came to the forefront. For starters, I am a loud and proud supporter of online dating - it's the whole reason I met and fell in love with the best friend and most super duper amazingly awesome man in the whole wide world (THANK YOU INTERNET!). I have several close and fabulous pals that all began from simply sharing back and forth on twitter. I am forever grateful to the age of social media and the blogosphere. It has been an essential key to staying in touch with the people that matter most to me and meeting new people from all walks of life. From my wonderfully whacky family and hometown, to my college years spent working in Peanut Hell (Logan's Roadhouse for those not in the know), to international internship programs, year long drunkfests in Austin, grad schooling in London, travel adventures, and a thriving online community -- I have been surrounded and saved by life-changing friendships.

So no matter what type of friend you are to me - new, old, online, school, travel, work, best, family - I am grateful.

I dedicate this classic tune to all of you (because we all know I love any chance to squeeze in something awesomely cheesy and related to my childhood - Zack Attack!!!!).

Peace, Love, and Friends Forever,

Bekah

Relaxed + Happy: A Weekend in Asheville

Bekah Travel Fact: I start to get grumpy and uninspired if I don't get out of town every couple of months. No one wants to be around me, including myself. So how does a girl trying to save money manage to both save her sanity and keep it budget friendly? A drive-able getaway, of course. Since much of my travel monster nature comes from my adventuring mama, it seemed fitting that we gals should set out on a mother/daughter trip to Asheville, NC.

Here's the rundown: if you're a fan of music, delicious local bites, unique shops, and relaxation; Asheville is the town for you.

The night we arrived, they happened to be having a free concert series called Downtown After 5. There were several local bands playing followed by the always hip and super soulful, St. Paul & The Broken Bones. The sound of horns were pumping through the air and there were happy hippies swaying in the streets everywhere. It was quick to see that music is a major vein in that city with cool venues and record shops all around.

Then there's the Asheville food and beverage scene, folks. Any restaurant or bar you choose to eat at is probably going to be deliciously dynamite and full of local ingredients. A few of our samplings included Bouchon (French comfort food at its bon appetite-iest), Mela Indian Restaurant (I wanted to swim in a sea of that Lamb Pistachio curry), and Battery Park Book Exchange and Champagne Bar (good reads and bubbly cocktails together in perfect harmony). I was sadly coming off of a stomach virus, so my booze drinking was limited but that town is obviously a beer drinkers paradise. It's home to at least 10 breweries and brewpubs that I will most definitely be checking out on my next visit.

Bubbles & Books!

The shops you go in will most likely be locally owned and full of treasures. I had to keep my shopping addiction in check because I wanted ALL THE THINGS. For rad vintage pieces, check out Madame Butterfly and for endless knickknack browsing, go to L.O.F.T. (Lost Objects Found Treasures). However, my favorite find was Olive & Kickin' - a gourmet shop featuring some the of the best flavored olive oils and balsamic vinegars that will ever grace your mouths presence. I walked away with the unbelievably delicious Fig Balsamic and Espresso Balsamic but wanted to buy one of everything! [Get some here and you can thank me later.] Oh, and fear not my boutique loving friends, just turn down any street and you are going to be broke and happily dressed.

Vintage Heaven at Madame Butterfly.

Another really interesting and especially relaxing experience my mom and I had was at Asheville's Therapeutic Salt Cave. This particular salt was mined from caves in Poland and are meant to be a place of meditation and healing for all sorts of ailments. Considering I had been struggling to breath with the allergies from hell, it seemed like a nice little experiment. So we decided to give it a go and tacked on a nice massage to get the fully relaxed experience. Once you enter the cave, you either get settled into a zero gravity chair or pick a pile of blankets and pillows on the salt covered floor. I opted for the floor which was basically like laying on a sandy beach in the dark with a perfectly chilled temperature. The lady working the counter walks you through all of the potential benefits of salt caves and then leads you into meditation. As a naturally anxious person, I'm usually pretty funny about being quite and left alone with my thoughts for too long (my mind can go to some crazy places) - but this was actually really lovely. I just sort of wrapped up in a blanket with a piece of salt on my stomach (as suggested) and drifted in and out of a very peaceful sleep for 45 minutes.

relaxation at its saltiest.

Do I think salt caves are magical and all curing? I've only been once, so it's hard to say. What I can say is that it cleared my head right up! So maybe there is something to this salt business after all? Even if you think it's all a bunch of bologna, I still recommend giving it a go just for the relaxing environment and experience.

So the next time you're itching to get out of town for a relaxing weekend, I highly recommend Asheville. It's lusciously green, full of yums, and hippy dippy in all the best ways.

If you ever wandered where I got it from - I leave you with my magical mother.

Peace, Love, and Getaway,


Bekah